Starbucks Flat White is a Flat Out Disappointment

Starbucks flat white

Starbucks flat white

I am an admitted Starbucks addict. Therefore when I heard that Starbucks has a new drink out called the “Flat White,” and subsequently learned this category of beverage is supposedly the darling of Australian coffee aficionados, I was excited.

I really wanted to like the flat white. Served in a tall sized cup, the flat white consists of two ristretto shots (kind of like espresso shots, but with less water involved) and foamed whole milk that has been carefully crafted to have a thick, velvety texture, thicker than in a cappuccino. That sounds delicious, right?

The first flat white I had last week had an amazingly thick, creamy texture as promised, which was the best part of the drink. But the taste? Ugh. The first note I detected was like sour milk–that is not the taste you want for your first sip!

I realized the milk had not actually gone sour, but the coffee beans used to produce the drink possessed bitter notes that in effect made the milk seem sour.

I wanted to give the flat white another chance, so I went to a different Starbucks today, hoping for a more impressive showing. Unfortunately, I think the barista botched it. There was no creamy texture whatsoever, and the flat white tasted incredibly watery.

I wonder if the flat white is simply too complicated for rushed Starbucks baristas to craft properly as they jump and dive behind the counter to keep up with their massive influx of orders and cranky, caffeine deprived patrons.

Sadly, I will not be giving the flat white a third chance. I think Starbucks was ambitious in trying to tackle an Australian staple, but ultimately the flat white will disappear, if you gauge society’s reception by the disappointed and lukewarm online reviews.

Where I got my flat white: two different local Starbucks shops

Where you can get your flat white: Find your closest Starbucks location using

Foamy Butter in My Coffee? Whaaat?

bulletproof coffee

bulletproof coffee

My friend Jonah knows I am a coffee and cappuccino aficionado, so this weekend he introduced me to the concept of bulletproof coffee, which contains butter!

I know that might sound crazy to you–butter in the coffee?!

I won’t get into the scientific explanation as to why this seemingly crazy idea actually works–I will link to Jonah’s health and fitness blog so you can ask him about the science part over there–but I will say that frothy butter really tastes delicious in coffee, and it makes the coffee smooth and creamy without tasting like straight up butter.

In a nutshell, the three key elements of bulletproof coffee are fresh roasted beans, frothy bubbly butter and MCT oil, which is made of palm nut oil and other good natural stuff. There are many benefits to bulletproof coffee, including a longer lasting caffeine buzz without ill effects like indigestion.

I had my coffee about 9 hours ago, and here I am busily humming along after midnight writing this piece. In contrast, yesterday when I had no coffee at all, I was dying for a nap by 6 p.m., which is pretty sad. So, bulletproof coffee seems to have fulfilled its promise of keeping me perky yet clearheaded for many hours.

Next, the fresh roasted beans made this coffee taste pretty intense, in a good way. It tasted less like an American coffee and more like an Italian or Swiss espresso. I like the strong stuff, so this was a pleasant surprise.

Typically after a strong espresso, I tend to have some digestive distress, like some pains in my midsection. I suffer this pain gladly because, after all, it’s espresso, the elixir of life! One of the benefits of bulletproof coffee, however, is it is not supposed to cause any digestive discomfort at all.

Sure enough, I guzzled this strong beverage in just a few gulps, but I did not experience any acid reflux or stomach pain at all. Yes! Caffeine buzz achieved without suffering!

Even if you don’t care about the benefits of bulletproof coffee, you should try it if you enjoy espressos, lattes and cappuccinos. Bulletproof coffee is a lot like those drinks, but to me the texture is even smoother and thicker, which sounds extra delicious to me, especially for the colder weeks of fall and winter that lie ahead.

Thanks for the tip, Jonah!

Where I got my coffee: Jonah and Lisa and Milo’s house

Where you can get your coffee: Check out this website for all the details: Bulletproof Exec